So today at work my coworker told us that a customer had told them to “Kill themselves.” I like how they responded to that, what they said got the person thinking and immediately realized the error of her ways so she apologized and felt bad for saying that. As she fucking should. I was like “Damn you’re better than me. My immediate response would’ve been: Do you happen to have a pamphlet for me to choose from? Or are these just empty words? Furthermore, do you happen to have the tools on you or is this gonna be like a DIY situation for me? Or maybe you’re looking to become a stage hand for the production of my suicide? I’m willing to review your qualifications.”
The DIY part and the stage hand absolutely sent both my friends😂 It was great. So yeah! I’ve now decided should the day ever come; I will be hiring stage hands and it’ll be a grand production. A masterpiece!👩🍳💋 Later on, still joking around (see this is ok to joke about when you’ve ALL gone through shit and can now share dark humor. If you ain’t never then keep your trap fucking closed bitch ass)
so my friend goes: “I’m gonna kill myself because of …”
I’m like: “Can you hold off tho until liiike AFTER we close? I reallyyyyy don’t wanna have to do paper work.”
They go: “Ugh. I suppose so.”
Then I responded with: “Just make sure you’re clocked out cause I personally wouldn’t wanna be clocked into work for all eternity.”
They all simply died laughing. I heard them sound off like a fucking roll call from where they were each stationed at.😂
Also! My friend said that “Suicidal stage hands.” Would make a sick ass band name and I firmly agree!😆