Sometimes I feel really guilty for thinking or remembering him. Taping into his energy again at times. It feels like I’m stunting my heart space and possibly “ruining” my future connection with another… I feel like I’m going backwards but only for a split second do I think like that because then I remind myself that our roots are important. We’re like trees, without them we would die. They keep us grounded and nourished. So it’s good to go down memory lane and feel through it like that, just as long as we don’t remain in the past. We have to keep growing. I also remind myself that my heart is an infinite ocean of love, for I have allowed it to be so. Some people say: “I don’t have enough room in my heart for that or them.” I think that maybe at a given time you don’t feel like you have the capacity to take on more into your heart space, but the potential is definitely there and lives in all of us. That’s what renovations are for, ya know? To expand our homes and create more space for others and more things that we love doing too. That’s the cool thing about love, it’s expansive and everlasting…even after someone draws their last breath on this earth. It outlives time itself…
So at one point, I had thought and accepted that I would never be able to love the way that I did again. I was ok with that for a time. Now I know that to be untrue and I’m glad. For once more I say this: My heart is an infinite ocean of love that will never know a setting horizon again.